"Jumping back into civilian life headlong, like I'd originally attempted, proved
both disastrous and shortsighted. And coming to terms with this permanent state
of combat readiness has made me realize just how much I miss war (or parts of
it), and how lucky--and twisted--I am to be able to even write those words. I
miss the camaraderie. I miss the raw excitement."
"I miss that daily sense of purpose, survive or die, that simply can't be
replicated in everday existence. I miss standing for something more than myself,
even if I never figured out just what the hell that something was supposed to