Sunday, March 30, 2008

The reunion--INTERRUPTED

Turns out much of my tension and foul mood of the past week was hormonal in nature. Some of it was because we have reached again, April 1st.


Thank you, God.

I went back to find that post from last year to link and thought I will take a stab at that again. And suddenly it seemed so obvious!

It needs some fine tuning--word choice, etc. but I like this, and I feel this:

If I should lose the little finger, say
Of my left hand, I could learn to type around.
And all the instruments I do not play
Would prove no sadder loss than now.

Other things I do requiring dexterous skill
Could be--as good or almost--learned again.
Most days I should not feel its loss at all
Until it was as if it had never been.

Yet, there would come a moment when
Performing some small but delicate task
I should find myself at a loss, as when
I find there is no one else I can ask

Questions I never thought to bring to you,
And I cry to feel your death anew.

Sometimes the muses are both kind and strange


I have been invited
Like the courtier in the powdered wig,
Like a dignitary, profile of a mountain.
I fear to write the word
Like a chicken
Laying her last egg
Before laying out her neck.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I saw this poem in a dream--nearly as I can remember as it is now. The dream itself is strange.

I had to go somewhere about two hours away on Saturday--leaving at about 9:30. In my dream of Saturday morning my mother was here and going with me and she had to go to Lexington on Saturday morning BEFORE we left. So she and I and a friend of my husband's (on my mind because he hadn't returned a phone call--common with him--and my husband and I had been discussing it the night before) went to Lexington at 8:30. Lexington is about 30 minutes away from me because there is no direct way to get there--even though the distance is not that great.
We go to this house and family business and no one is there.

Me: Didn't you tell them you were coming?
Mother: Well, I thought they'd be here.
Me: You thought they'd be open at 8:30 in the morning?
Mother: I knew they'd open for me.
Me: And why did we have to do this first. Didn't you realize we could have gone through Lexington on our way out of town.
Mother: But I need it before I get ready. Oh, the door's open. I'll just get what I need and leave a note.

So we go in (???) and she's looking for this "thing" and I glance at the husband's desk and there's this poem on it. In the dream I knew he was a poet, but I expected him to be of the slightly sentimental variety and I was startled by this poem as it did not seem like something he would write. I can't think of any poet I've met who didn't write poetry that fundamentally seemed like them. Even April's frustratingly language rich poems seem like April, and certainly John Ash and Wayne Koestenbaum wrote poems I expected from comfortable gay men living in New York. Even Charles Simic, a far more interesting poet to me, still writes poems that do not surprise me in coming from him.

So I wake up and think, "I must get that poem on paper. That's not his poem, that's MY poem." There was a slightly different version that I remembered in that glorious moment after waking--or I think I do--memory, especially of dreams becomes more and more what you remember and less and less of what they might really have been in the moment of dreaming. Like Coleridge, interrupted, I struggled to remember precisely what I read on that page, and what was so clear on the second after waking faded with each attempt to re-see it, but, this is, I think, very close to the gist. And if any further proof is needed that my subconscious wrote this poem, I had no idea what it meant until I got it on the page.

Because I was going to a reunion on Saturday. A reunion I was dreading for many different reasons that I cannot, even now fully articulate. Also, I have not written any poetry for some time and had begun to believe that I might never write another one that I liked. I know it's an obtuse poem, but I also feel in my gut that it is good and not one of those things (like plots of dreams I have tried to recapture) that was only good in the dream and do not hold together on waking.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


One of those days when I think how nice it would be to be the guy who screws toothpaste caps on in some factory.


Come to think of it--it's sort of been several days like that in a row.


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Movie Quotes--Spoilers

Don't read this if you're still trying to guess. I was very amused and intrigued by Mirror's.

Mine were:

1. Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?
2. Peter's Friends
3. The Thin Man
4. 1776 (Sidenote: Can't wait to see the HBO series!)
5. Young Frankenstein
6. Born Yesterday (NOT the remake--the lovely original with Judy Holliday and William Holden)
7. Blade Runner
8. Adventures of Baron Munchausen
9. Touch of Evil (since Mirror had already taken Citizen Kane!)
10.Wings of Desire
11.Gosford Park
12.Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
15.Over the Hedge

I could think of all sorts of quotes from great films--but they weren't my FAVORITE films. I'd recommend any of these to anyone.

Oh, Mirror, the ONLY thing that came up for "I own this Joint" was YOUR post!

Mathematical Dates

The cool thing about last Wednesday was that it was part of the Fibonacci Series--3-5-8, (and of course--3+5=8). No one got it at work either.

Monday, March 10, 2008


I love avatars.

I love Avatar, the cartoon too, but that's another story.

And I'd love to really meet a real Avatar too, but that really is another story.

Anyway. Found the freebie site Meez! Now here's the silly thing. With an avatar you can be anything you want. I could be really thin or much more curvaceous. I could be deathly pale. I could dress like a slut.

And I,...

I tend to make them look pretty much like I look and dress them like I dress. In my brief foray into Second Life I gave myself wings, and I was a little punkier than I can usually get away with, but still pretty much me.

I'm not sure what that means. Do I like myself, or do I just have little imagination?

(I'm going to try and play with her look a bit)

One good thing

The Blogtations quote of the day seems unhappy with the daylight change. I admit it was hard to get up this morning and I haven't changed any of my 30 watches yet, but oh, having the sunlight at the end of work day...

Of course, I ended up staying at my desk until 6:30 because my clock was off. If I had left on time it would have been light when I left the gym.

Dare I say it???

Could this be the one good thing to come out of the Bush presidency? was already being considered--all he did was not veto it. Whew. Had me worried there.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Film Quote Meme

Mirror tagged me for this Meme. I am embarrassed to say that I have not guessed a single one of his, although some are tantalizingly familiar like I should know them (although I would never have gotten Barry Lyndon). So, I was trying to pick some of my favorite films that were not entirely obscure or foreign, and I approached it with the idea of films I end up watching again and again when they are on TV (threrefore ensuring that they are in the mainstream)--although you'd probably have to wait awhile for some of these to roll around.

1. I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.

2. Oh, how can I put this delicately? It's just that I'm not really in the vagina business.

3. The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.

4. Well, think of it, John, to be married to the man who is always the first in line to be hanged!

5. Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm... with very few exceptions... is not a human being.

6. He always used to say, "Never do nothing you wouldn't want printed on the front page of The New York Times."

7. I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life, anybody's life, my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.

8. And that was only one of the many occasions on which I met my death, an experience which I don't hesitate strongly to recommend.

9. An old lady on Main Street last night picked up a shoe. The shoe had a foot in it. We're gonna make you pay for that mess.

10.What a dear face! Interesting. What a nostril. A dramatic nostril. These people are extras. Extra people. Extras are so patient. They just sit. Extras. These humans are extras. Extra humans.

11.Really? When was the last time you stabbed a corpse?

12.It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The minute you start they put you on the all-American sucker list. You start out to build a home and wind up in the poorhouse. And if it can happen to me, what about the guys who aren't making $15,000 a year? The ones who want a home of their own. It's a conspiracy, I tell you - -against every boy and girl who were ever in love.

13.Y'know that ringing in your ears? That 'eeeeeeeeee'? That's the sound of the ear cells dying, like their swan song. Once it's gone you'll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts.--Children of Men

14.'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.--Chinatown (Does that mean there's hope for Gehry buildings?--or does the fact of this line being in Chinatown prove the point??? f(O_0)

15.That, my friend, is a magical combination of corn flour, dehydrated cheese solids, BHA, BHT, and good old MSG; a.k.a., the chip, nacho cheese flavor.

The big question is whether I would recognize these if I hadn't collected them...

Anyway, I tag Musing, Matt, Pat and BiBi.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Our home

I was torn about posting this--we now have three bedrooms for two people and I know that Musing is struggling with two bedrooms for three people. I spent much of junior high and part of senior high sharing one room in someone else's house with my mother. It's so dreadful to be a teenager with no privacy at all.

So we have worked hard to have this luxury of space. I was also going to just post them at Photobucket (I haven't bothered to join Flikr) but I forgot my password and it became complicated. But I did promise pictures when we were more settled--and we have decorated some. It was something I promised myself I would do before our party two weeks ago and having the deadline forced us to unpack, clean and decorate. Our belongings tell who we are and what is important to us--and they need captions, so here we go:

We're on the second floor, so you walk in facing the stairs and see The Adams Family greeting you, with our gargoyle. We actually want to have a third Gothic picture there, but found that with the way we had hung them we couldn't reach to hang a third--we also couldn't agree on the third for now (the blanket helps cut the draft). John Muth's image (based on an old Garbo poster) for an illustrated Dracula and an Amano illustration for Sandman. You have to remember that my husband worked for a couple of years IN a comic store, so many of these things were promotions. We have a copy of the Amano which we are planning to put up on eBay.

Turn left at the top of the stair (so behind me as I'm taking the picture above) and you go into a little room with the coat closet, the door to the little deck and what we have designated as the "general" fiction bookshelf. As you can see, we desperately need a second bookshelf. The chair is an office chair that someone was throwing away. As to general fiction, we run into difficulties--do Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale and Oryx and Crake belong here with P.D. James' Children of Men as both women write more "mainstream" fiction generally, or do they belong with the fantastic fiction... Do I put The Bell Jar and In Cold Blood here or in non-fiction. This is why I never became a librarian.

Turn to the right and you enter the hall to the kitchen. The poster is of St. Paul's Cathedral. The pictures are from our trip to Britain. The photo albums are here too. You can just see the tops of posters that we didn't manage to agree on where to hang. The big blank wall you facing the table is reserved for all of the rest of the comic book art my husband has collected, some signed.

Go straight ahead at the top of the stair and you enter the main room. I hope to get curtains on the windows, and stain the stereo stand in the spring. Art books are on the big bookshelf--coffee table books. Dog toys on the floor.

The Moderns poster I've had since I was in high school--Keith Carradine painted the picture, and our children's books...Eloise and Moomin toys. This seemed a good place for folk lore and legends too--Gilgamesh, Bayowolf, etc. There are also 'comic' strip books (as opposed to comics)--Peanuts, Bloom County, Calvin & Hobbes, What's Michael (although it's technically Manga).

From the main room to what other people would use as a dining room. One thing I really wanted to do here was put the 'toys' out like a museum as opposed to in front of books--Invader Zim, The Muppets, Nightmare Before Christmas, Sandman, Pinky and the Brain/Warner Bros., Simpsons/Futurama.

Some books--graphic novels (you can see the Batman and Green Lantern toys), the best of Fantastic Contemporary Fiction (it's not finished).

The desk with reference, history and other non-fiction.

Up the stairs--biography and my books on poetry, writing and theater--also need another bookshelf here. Our bedroom is to the left of the frame, my studio is to the right of the bookshelves and the white door you can see leads to the attic.

Bathroom--this is why we have this apt. A really big bathroom. I want to get a curtain on that window too, and hang the cabinet.

And the claw foot tub. I frantically made the curtains the night before the party from old sheets that a friend donated to me for a show. They're not quite even at the bottom...

One of our friends said it was a bathroom we could shoot porn in!

You'll notice there are no pictures of the bedrooms--the master bedroom is not decorated, and the other two are still in chaos--there's even more books in both esp. in my husbands--Japanese books, both novels, history and Manga, horror and golden age sci-fi., plus his drawing table. We also didn't manage to hang pictures in the kitchen.

Well, that's it--there's a piece of me that realizes in much of the world, 4 families would be living in the same amount of space and I'm sad and guilty, but there's part of me that feels like I'm home and I need this--is that selfish?

Hope you've enjoyed the tour. I also don't think that there's anything worth stealing in the pictures except the stereo equipment and computer. Hopefully there's no important info. really small in the corner of something. Happy Daylight Savings.

Music stuck in my head

Caught the video for this band on Logo the other night, which was a relief because I had caught the tail end of the song on the radio and missed the name.

It's a British techno/technopop band called Hot Chip. A lot of the rest of their music is a little too techno for me, but something about this one sticks in my head. The video is, of course, very fun--rather like L'Arc's video last year with lots of amusing old fashioned and digital tricks. Another video from them for Over and Over rather turns the whole green screen thing on it's ear--my favorite bit being when paint is thrown on them changing the color of their clothes. (Sidenote: I like that they are "officially" posting their own videos--like Dolby they put up concert clips, commentary, etc.--if you can't beat it join it) Also like that evidently when they do the songs live they completely remix them. Oh, and I have no idea why the Joker/Two Face imagery.

I also can't get this song out of my head, by Kate Nash, also British, who just won Britain's best new artist at the NME's (like their Grammy's). When I first heard it I thought the refrain was good, but found her accent too much like watching a sketch by British Comedian Catherine Tate (she's the blond here), which I sometimes find trying. But it grew on me.

I still love the refrain, "My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation. And I know that I should let go, but I can't."

Part of Kate Nash's appeal and success is the fact that she basically made her album in her bedroom on her Mac. Played all or most of the instruments and then mixed it.

Sometimes melodies just sound so right to me--and obviously right to many people or these bands would not be successful. I've gone on about this before. I don't know what it is--intervals or patterns--that somehow just work perfectly to the ear (or at least the western ear, and perhaps now, the world).

Before ending this thought I'll put up one by Lilly Allen. I'm not that fond of Allen as I think her songs sound the same, but this video is hilarious (warning--obscene puppetry involved).

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Pop quiz

Can any of my readers tell me what was interesting mathematically about yesterday's date? There's the short answer and the longer answer. I'll give you a hint--the longer answer won't happen again until 2013 AD.

I ran this in yesterday's edition of the company NewsFlash. So far I've only gotten the short answer.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Welcome back, Musing

I am happy to add Musing back to the sidebar!

Gen X is Officially Grown Up

Yes, it has finally happened...PBS has decided that we have both enough disposable income and enough charitable feeling to be courted.

A documentary of The Clash is now in the PBS rotation at pledge time.

Is it better or worse that Joe Strummer isn't here to see it???

Monday, March 03, 2008

Vindication (Simpsons style)

As my kind readers know, I hated The Departed (and not because I ended up on the cutting room floor). This week's Simpsons was called The Debarted and it featured a mole working for Principal Skinner getting close to Bart. It was rip-snortingly funny. The final scene feature Ralph Wiggum (the special child) watching a rat go by. And this was the final line:

Ralph Wiggum: The rat symbolizes obviousness!

Oh, yes! Yes! Yes!

(In your face, Marty Scorsese!)


Neil Gaiman mentioned that Teller (as in Penn and ...) was working on a Grand Guignol version of the Scottish Play and I was (of course) intrigued.

TURNS OUT that Teller (Amherst--class of '69) is premiering it at Amherst (my Alma Mater) this spring.

Oh, squeee...

I wonder if Neil will attend.

EDIT: Bother! It already premiered and ended (and it was at the Folger Shakespeare Library (which Amherst owns)--not actually at Amherst). They really should have checked their publication dates before announcing it like that.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Since I always lose things on the web

Found this game. Very cool. You can pick a couple of different rhythms on some of the instruments.

Games at - One Man Band
One Man Band

Build your very own one man band!

Play this free game now!!