Saturday, May 13, 2006

On the intoxication of fame

It certainly was odd, the way people again and again exected him to step into some space in their imaginations, fit into their dreams.--Doris Lessing, The Story of General Dann and Mara's Daughter, Griot and the Snow Dog

I was reading Mara and Dann (see post above), and its sequel and had L'Arc~en~Ciel's "Light My Fire" tour running in the backgroud, glancing up now and then to watch Hyde sing when I read that phrase. Watching Hyde on "Milky Way" as the Japanese crowd moves in unison, I thought about how intoxicating it must be to be rock stars--more even than actors, for the size of the crowd completely in your hands, worshipping you. No wonder it's so hard to give up, witness The Rolling Stones. Hyde so clearly loves to be loved by the thousands of fans--he controls them completely and yet he thinks he should be left alone in private. Sorry, Baby, Gods don't get to stop being Gods when they walk off stage. We have too much invested. You fill too many needs for us to just let you be some guy trying to grab his lunch. I keep returning to the quote from Infinite Jest about all of us dying to give ourselves away. Why? Why are human brains wired like this? The object of need may change, but the need remains the same throughout time. Is it really as C.S. Lewis believed a questing after God himself? Because the human will always let us down.

We keep putting our trust in things that rust, and then we feel the pain of loss--James (the band), "Stripmining"

Like the fans who are actually angry that the band's sound changed, or that Hyde got married. I remember reading John Taylor of Duran Duran saying that some of the fans didn't think that they (Duran) went to the bathroom. A moment I love in "Light My Fire" is backstage when Hyde is biking. He loves to bike and you can see how free he feels. I love the moments when he's most human, scars and pimples and all, since in the studio photos he's almost ethereal, but even those moments are not quite real. The camera is still running. The girlfriends (boyfriends), wives, etc. are not in frame. These are no more (or less) the real Hyde than reading Sakura x Hyde moments into "Fobidden Lover." The voice is the most real, but would I love it so much if it was coming out of an ugly face? Do I think too much?

Someone is perfect for you. Do you want to bet your life you're going to be perfect for them too?--Duran Duran "When Mars Meets Venus"

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